Traffic as a Solution, Not a Problem

So what is it about the morning traffic that we all hate - I mean, think about it, bumper to bumper stuck in this slow crawl down expansive highways with hundred or thousands of other commuters, going in the same forward direction. We can either be completely stressed out by this issue, or use it to our ultimate advantage. Think: speed dating. You're not going anywhere anytime soon, as there is either a major multi-vehicle accident up ahead beyond the horizon, or someone is changing a tire and everyone has to slam on their brakes to make sure that this individual is doing it correctly. Why not take this time to roll down your windows and meet your neighbors?

At any given time, there are 4 people within shouting distance of my vehicle, with one being within the normal range of volume. We already have 2 common bonds; the traffic we are inevitably stuck in and the weather outside of our vehicles. Starting the conversations would be easy, simply roll down the window and say 'Hello, how are you, my name is so and so. Look at this rainy/snowy/windy/gorgeous weather, can you believe it?' Or, 'Can you believe that silver VW ahead? The way they cut into the lane like that?' Better than the traditional opening bar-room ice breakers, like 'come here often?' or 'Let me buy you a drink baby.' These often times lead to critical failure, at best when the proposed person just turn away, while at worst a quick slap across the face and ejection from said drinking establishment.

Also, traffic should not be a stressful moment in your day. Look at it from the 10,000 foot perspective. You're leaving a more than likely stress-filled household; wife or husband, kids, bills, home repair, etc., to go to a stress-filled work environment; deadlines, managers, meetings, customer demands, etc. This is you time of solitude. You can't control the traffic patterns, as I've personally found out, and it's always a valid excuse when running into the office late. This is your only time of ultimate solitude. While you can roll the windows down and hear the blaring noise of the outside world, you can just as easily keep them up, turn on the climate control, and catch up on some audio books, or listen to that favorite jazz album that you can never seem to hear while at home or work. You are snuggled nicely inside a rolling serenity pod with all sorts of comfort options.

But I digress. I believe the ultimate stress relief is conversation with another like-minded individual. I know that this will be read by a few people, passed around, and inevitably someone will patent 'Traffic slow-speed dating'. I'm actually at peace with this. It would help reduce the incredible amounts of road rage our country suffers from, as well as sate our natural human urge of social gathering. And, in the process, if we manage to match compatibility with another person, we just eliminated all stress from the rest of the day.

How To Manage Change

So, I've been absent for a little bit. But, much like the fabled Prodigal Son, I have risen from the dead and returned home. So let me get right to the topic- Change. This can be forced change, or meticulously planned. In the end, it's your will alone that will guide you through change. I don't claim to be the strongest person around, but I can withstand quite a bit and still stand tall. That helps me through both types of change, as well as support those around me should they be, for lack of better terms, weaker.

How does one prepare for the unannounced herald of change? Is it genetic, is it a learned skill from brick and mortar learning institutions, or the school of hard knocks? Also, how many questions am I going to ask before I start posting answers? I say yes to all of those options. I would say that from birth, there are some people that can withstand a hell of a lot of pressure. You see them all the time- the head chef in the packed restaurant, the foreman on a multi-billion dollar build site, down to the one family member that makes funeral arrangements and sees to the final wishes of a passed family member. Or, and I will use this as a baseline, a family member that is going to pass. Here is a quick story of change, and the amazing strength to stand up to it.

I have an acquaintance that is about to lose a loved one- or rather, the loved one. This a man losing his father to a fatal version of an already horrible disease. One day he knew there was an issue, and quite literally, the next day they were marking the calendar for the approximate date of passing. Stop- this is where change begins. This can't be any more of an example of forced change. Look at all the different types; physical loss, emotional, monetary, and role. He is losing the pillar of his world in his father, which obviously creates the emotional changes. The monetary and role change are due to his now having to step onto that pedestal and raise himself above himself and watch after the family and their assets. The rest of the story is heart-wrenching, but is not conducive to this piece. Maybe later, if his heart is in it.

What kind of person can be this rock? I know that he is not quite a type A personality. He doesn't fit into that extrovert category either. He just saw what needs to be done, and what could happen if he didn't assume those responsibilities, and made the change. From personal experience, I'm very similar. I'm not an extrovert- quite the opposite. I actually have issues with large groups of people. But, when the proverbial crap hits the magic fan, I'm your guy. I stand tall when all those about me crumble. I take that role because I have to, not always because I want to. But, have and want are 2 very different things, now aren't they? And that's the answer. Something I tell my children all the time, 'We do the things we have to do, so that we can do the things we want to do.' This is what I live by. I recommend you give it a shot. Of course, in their little world, it means doing their chores so that they can watch TV or get extra outside time. But in the end, it's the same principle.

Maybe that's the answer. People that can see what needs to be done, and have the strength or moral composition do stand tall and get it done. This is the person you need in your lives, and you may already have them. The one person that you can count on through tough times. That shoulder you cry on. The one that never asks for help, but is always their with a helping hand. The one that you never see crying or complaining, but will always listen to your issues and wipe your tears. They are the ones that are not the catalyst of change, just the general manager.

So, how to manage change? Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and get things done. Worry later.